I recently found myself pulling out of Target behind a truck plastered with Trump stickers and signage, including a flag. I found it a garish display, admittedly because I don’t support his candidate. But hey, we’re all entitled to support our candidate in the way that’s right for us, right? Let it go!
But as I followed the truck on to the highway, the flag began to blow and the words became visible.
“F—K Your Feelings.”
A statement so blunt and cold, I actually bristled. Those words stung. Three words. A vulgarity, a pronoun representing all people and an emotion deeply grounded in personal experience. This guy is publicly dismissing and potentially offending everyone in three words.
I wondered what happened to him to make him so angry. I wondered how as a society we got to a place where printing those words on a flag for all to see was ok. I wondered what I would say to a child about the message had a child been in the car with me. I wondered what to say to myself to help me push the message out of my mind and not let it linger.
The old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” may be literally true when the choice is physical violence or violent words. But I found two alternate versions of that schoolyard ditty that are more accurate for me. “Sticks and stones may break my bones…but words will cut me deeply.” “Sticks and stones may break my bones…while words are ghosts that haunt me.”
Hateful, dismissive words cause a ripple effect of hurt. Words can leave scars as deep as those caused by weapons, and are often slower to heal and forgive.